Every Single Christmas
7 years of solitude
The last time I had a special someone at Christmas was 2017. Since then, I’ve learned how to make the holidays bright, cheerful, and genuinely more festive than any with past lovers.
Instead of writing in defense of single women this time of year, I’m here to brag about every single Christmas I’ve had. They taught me about who I am, what I value, and how to enjoy the holidays for real. Single women don’t need to convince anyone they’re okay, they need to make the skeptics jealous. I’ll go first.
Holiday hostess
Starting with last year, I was back in my home state of Minnesota and decided to host Christmas. I wanted to celebrate the home I bought and get a feel for the whole hosting game. This meant I got to decide who was invited, what food was served, the movies we watched, and games we played. Being in control was right up my alley and I settled into my hosting duties with ease. I got special gifts for everyone who attended and made sure to set up all the proper accommodations for my overnight guests. It was a fun way to experience the holidays as an adult by providing an experience for my family.
This opened my eyes to all the planning and effort that goes into hosting. It was a lot of work, but the effort was worth it. I was proud of how it came together for my siblings. We had fun, there was zero drama, and I didn’t have to do any traveling!
The English tradition
Speaking of travel, two years in a row I spent Christmas in England. Holidays with my best friend’s family are a sight to behold. I got a firsthand look at the characters she grew up with and was there to take her side when the drama kicked off. Add in their British accents and there was never a dull moment for me. I ate crumpets, Christmas pudding, and more parsnips than I expected, but it soon felt very normal for me to attend their family Christmas in the English countryside.
Plus, while I was in London, I treated myself to some of the most extravagant holiday gifts and shopping of my life. Selfridges loved to see me coming. I didn’t hold back and spoiled myself in all the ways I expect from a man. Knowing how it feels to do it for myself takes away any power it could hold over me when a man does it for me.
Solitude sparked a change in perspective
The first few years I spent Christmas recovering from a painful breakup, begrudgingly attending family gatherings, and mostly allowing myself to be a victim of the holiday. I wanted to remain open and available to a man coming into my life, but what I was actually doing was leaving my holidays up to chance. Chance let me down year after year, so I decided to act and plan as though I wouldn’t meet someone.
This erased the classic Hallmark movie plot from my mind and freed me to book my first Christmas in England. Something far more exciting and adventurous than simply getting a kiss under the mistletoe at home.
at the end of the day…
Living as though I will never meet someone has made my holidays festive, fun, and reliable. I’m having more fun at Christmas as a single woman in my 30’s than I ever did as a coupled up girl in her 20’s.
Let this be a reminder that you have free will. You can find fun ways to spend the holidays. Life is genuinely what you decide to make of it; especially this time of year.